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An Adoptive Parent Writes: My wife and I have adopted a 15 and a half year old son. His biological mother is white and his l father is Hispanic. During his formative years, he was in African American neighborhoods and has adopted both African American culture and street life culture as his own. How do we help our son work through being tri-racial? He has all three cultures in his life and wants something from each. More…

An Adoptive Parent Writes: The other day my 6 year old African American daughter, Tasha, floored me.  When asked “What happened to your real mom and dad?” Tasha calmly looked up and said, “My black mommy and daddy are dead.” It’s not true that her “black mommy and daddy are dead”!  I’m not comfortable with lying to her, but I don’t want to make her uncomfortable. Any ideas? More…

An Adoptive Parent Writes: Our mixed race 5 yr. old daughter was recently told by a friend that we are her pretend parents and that her real parents probably miss her. How should we best respond to the situation and what should we suggest our daughter say to others who may ask about her “real parents”? More…

A Prospective Parent Writes: I am white, single and adopting three of my foster kids, one of whom is black. The other two are white half-brothers. I will have to prepare my son for discrimination. I wonder what recommendations you have for  books, toys, etc. that I should give the boys (I want all three of them to read the books and play with the toys) More…...

An Adoptive Parent Writes: My husband and I are parents to a wonderful 13 year old young man who we adopted at birth. He is multi racial. For the last couple of years our son has seemed so angry…toward everyone but particularly toward us. I also know that he is struggling with issues that I cannot possibly fully understand. He has had trouble making and keeping friends his whole life and I know he feels isolated. What can we do for him?  More…

A prospective Adoptive Family writes: My husband and I are of European descent. I am American and he is British, and we live in the US. My husband was born in Ghana, and his family lived there for over 10 years. Do you have any suggestions regarding whether, and how, we should integrate this part of my husband’s background into how we teach our children about their ethnic backgrounds and ours, and how to celebrate those backgrounds? More…

A Prospective Parent Writes: My husband and I are just starting the process of adoption and are strongly considering Ethiopia. We are both caucasian and have two bio kids. We would want to adopt a 2-3 year old boy. I have been doing a lot of research on transracial adoption and have to admit that it scares me. I am concerned about doing a disservice to my adopted child (and in turn my bio kids who would surely be affected by that). More…

An Adoptive Parent Writes: My wife and I are adoptive parents of two children, ages 7 and 4. Our 7 year old is a biracial male that we adopted when he was 4 months old.  He recently asked me if the inside of his hands are the color that the rest of his body should be. How should I answer these types of very difficult questions?  More….

An Adoptive Parent Writes: My husband and I have adopted four fantastic kids out of foster care. Our oldest is Caucasian/Hispanic/Native American and is 15, one daughter is a very dark skinned African American 5 year old, a biracial 4 year old daughter, and a biracial 2 year old son…How do you recommend we meet families of African American descent that will be at the same socio-economic level as our own?  More…

An Adoptive Parent Writes: My husband and I (both Caucasian) just adopted a newborn baby girl whose mother is also Caucasian, and whose father was African-American. The only real contact our child’s birth mother had with the birth father was during the time of conception—we don’t know who he is, where he comes from, or what his cultural heritage might be. In the absence of real knowledge about who her father was, any attempt at bringing in any African or African- American identity would seem artificial.  Is it enough to teach, seek and embrace diversity and cultural competency? More….

A Foster and Adoptive Parent Writes: I would like to know whether for an African-American child growing up in a white family–even if surrounded by other African American people–race would become THE issue, THE main source of identity. Do you think this is frequent?  More…

A Concerned Relative Writes: My in-laws have three biological children, my husband being the youngest, and four adopted kids. [Jerome], the youngest, is 15 and biracial. Other than myself, there are no black adults in his life. Jerome seeks me out to talk with about race, and I do what I can, but it’s becoming clear to me that he really needs something that I can’t give him.  More…

An Adoptive Parent Writes: We are adopting a child from Ethiopia.  Our question is:  How and when do we explain racism to our child?  What words should we use?   More…

An Adoptive Parent Writes: I am the mother of two teenagers, 17 and 16, adopted as infants from Peru.  . . . When the kids were young children, we went to quite a few events and meetings of groups of parents of South American and Central American adoptees.  . . . Since it seemed like the ethnic events benefited us more than them, and they’d rather stay home, we stopped going.  More…

An Adoptive Parent Writes: Looking back on your childhood years, what do you wish your parents had done differently in raising you – if anything?  More…

A Transracial Adoptee Writes: I’m a 20 year old female and a child of transracial fostering. The problem I am having is the coping mechanisms I use to deal with my situation are not working, and I am increasingly finding it harder to deal with my situation   More…

A Prospective Adoptive Parent Writes: My husband and I are going through the foster/adoptive parent process, and as an interracial couple, we requested a child of mixed heritage.  During a phone call with the agency,  the secretary said that she always felt that this was a tacky question and that people should just take what they are given.   My husband and I don’t feel that it is tacky to want a child similar to ourselves, but I wanted an outside opinion.  More…

An Adoptive Parent Writes: Does anyone feel like I do that society thinks that my African American baby will love me when he’s a child, but when he’s a grown up that he’d prefer to be with people who look like him? I think about this all the time and it makes me sad. More…

An Adoptive Parent Writes: What’s the best way to help children understand the difference between what they see and what they’re named?  More…

An Adoptive Parent Writes: I am a single, white adoptive mother of an 8-year-old African American boy, who was placed with me at age 8 months…Tonight he was very upset because of the things being said to him at school. He point blank said that he doesn’t want his classmates to know that he is adopted and that he hates when people make comments about me not looking like him.  More…

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