Develop Empathy – n. The action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner; also; the capacity for this.
- Try to understand
- Tune into and reflect the other person’s feelings
- Discuss what’s Important
- Recognize nonverbal clues
- Reach out to share another person’s experience
Exhibit Genuineness – n.Actually having the reputed or apparent qualities or character, Actually produced by or proceeding from the alleged source or author, Sincerely and honestly felt or experienced, free from hypocrisy or pretense, authentic
- Be yourself
- Maintain consistency between verbal and nonverbal behavior
- Be spontaneous and natural
- Choose to save the relationship rather than being concerned about your own feelings or saving your own face
- Share relevant personal information about yourself
Show Respect – n. In relation or reference to a particular thing, An act of giving particular attention, i.e. consideration*, High or special regard, esteem. *Consideration: continuous and careful thought, a matter weighed or taken into account when formulating an opinion or plan, a taking into account, thoughtful and sympathetic regard.
- Demonstrate interest and commitment
- Develop empathy
- Communicate warmth
- Suspend critical judgment
- Reinforce strengths
Verbal Skills Checklist
- Use open questions to invite open discussion.
- Use closed questions to clarify and focus information.
- Check out specific feelings, experiences, and behaviors
- Clarify the meaning of any unclear language and/or terms.
- Get and use details that reinforce concreteness: Who? What? When’ Where? How?
- Listen to and try to understand any feelings being expressed through nonverbal behaviors.
- Use paraphrasing to accurately reflect the content of what is said.
Nonverbal Skills Checklist
- Create a comfortable environment by removing physical barriers and minimizing outside distractions
- Use body language (appropriate eye contact, facial expressions, posture, and gestures) effectively
- Use appropriate voice quality, word spacing, phrasing, and paraverbal expressions
- Observe the child or parent’s nonverbal communications and paraverbal expressions
- Be aware of the match (or lack of it) between the child or parent’s verbal, nonverbal, and paraverbal behaviors Show interest
Adapted from the Compass Curriculum, Center for the Development of Human Services, SUNY Buffalo Research Foundation and the Merriman Webster Online Dictionary