How the Coalition Helps Families

Sam* was born three months premature and had been with Angie* since he was five weeks old.

Angie legally adopted Sam after eight months of being his foster parent. Angie was an experienced parent having raised her own biological children as well as having fostered and adopted children. Sam, at sixteen  years old, was really testing both her parenting skills and patience. Angie tearfully admitted to “being done.” Her frustration and desperation were at an all-time high and she was just about ready to surrender Sam back into the foster care system.

Angie contacted the Coalition, and began working with a Family Support Specialist in our AGAPE post-adoption support program. Together, they determined that a combination of typical teen behaviors and years of parenting on her own, with very little to no support, were really taking their toll. While Angie loved Sam, she was now bracing for impact when he came home from school.

Sam presented as a fairly typical teen. When he arrived home he needed to decompress alone, rather than sharing all his day’s events with his mom. Angie’s demeanor physically changed when Sam walked in the door. She viewed his behavior as disrespect and apathy. She needed to be reminded that Sam’s behavior was typical and reassured that she had done nothing wrong. This is an age when children may not come in the door with a hug, ready to share their day’s events. This was okay and perfectly natural behavior.

AGAPE staff continued to work with the family and learned that Sam enjoyed and excelled at writing stories. This discovery opened the door for Angie to reconnect with her son and see him in a different light.

Over time, and with the assistance of their Family Support Specialist, the relationship between Sam and Angie steadily improved. They both relaxed and remembered that there was a deep love between them. Guided role playing, along with other supportive methods, gave Angie and Sam several methods to handle the situation. It allowed them the opportunity to address conflicts in a healthy way.

Angie was also connected with a Coalition affiliated parent support group to ease her sense of isolation.

As a result, Sam is emotionally and physically secure in his home and family.


The Adoptive and Foster Family Coalition of New York provides support, information and advocacy for foster, kinship and adoptive families and related professionals in New York State. Founded in the 1960s and incorporated in 1975, we provide services to help support families and their children. We educate the public, legislators and government leaders about the needs and realities of foster, kinship and adoptive families. Finally, we collaborate with child welfare agencies and other groups to ensure that families are best able to support and parent the children in their homes.

*All stories are based on true events, names and personal details have been changed to protect identity.