Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Adopt


  • What are my options for child care?
  • Have I researched availability and cost?
  • Have I looked at a school calendar to learn the number of vacation days?
  • Am I counting on a family member for child care?  Is this a sustainable plan?


  • Do I have a cushion should I face unexpected expenses or a period of unemployment?
  • Do I have friends or relatives who could provide financial help if necessary?


  • What is my relationship to my job and coworkers?
  • What are my expectations of myself regarding my career?
  • Will a child limit my choices or opportunities?
  • What are the demands of my job?
  • How much flexibility do I have regarding days off, vacation or work from home?


  • Who will be my child’s legal guardians?  Did I ask them yet?
  • Who can I call at 2 AM in the midst of a crisis?
  • Who could I ask to run to the school, or home to the babysitter, in an emergency?
  • Am I, or will I be, involved in the caretaking of older relatives?
  • How accepting/supportive are my friends and relatives about my decision to adopt?
  • Will they welcome/accept my child?
  • Will they understand the many changes my child brings to my life and relationships?


  • If I am in an ongoing relationship, what does this person say about my plan to adopt?
  • Have my partner and I discussed what his/her role in my child’s life will be?
  • How will my relationship be changed by having a child?
  • If I am not in a relationship, how will adopting affect my dating life?
  • Will a child limit my opportunities to meet someone?

Source: Susan Watson, Director of Adoption Services, Spence Chapin

click to share to: