Facilitating Contact Between Birth Parents and Children in Foster Care

The goal of a foster parent is to care for the child while their biological parents cannot. Birth parents have a legal right to visits while their children are in care. Visits are also beneficial for the children and necessary for their emotional health even if they seem upset or out of sorts after a visit.

Foster Parents are Responsible for:

  • Foster parents transport children to weekly visitation
  • Foster parents role in transitioning child to birth parent during visit is critical! (Foster parent may be involved in visit if appropriate.)
  • Foster parents meet with birth parents and relatives before and after visits to discuss the child’s adjustments, concerns, etc.
  • Foster / birth parents and/or agency worker frequently take pictures at the visits
  • Foster parents provide birth parents/relatives with photographs from home or school, artwork, notes/letters with important information, report cards, etc.
  • Birth Parents are encouraged to give the foster parents or child (if old enough pictures, cards / letters, important keepsakes
  • Foster parents demonstrate by action and words to children and birth parents that children can love more than one parent

Rather than see mandatory visits as a burden to foster parents, visits can be viewed as opportunities to build relationships an between foster and biological parents while maintaining family connections. There are many aspects of visits which can be viewed as family strengths.

Positive attributes that can be named as strengths:

  • Attending visits with their children
  • Keeping appointments
  • Being on time
  • Good personal appearance, hygiene.
  • Gifts for children
  • Attentiveness to children
  • Asking for information about their children
  • Giving information about their children
  • Good manners
  • Staying in touch with caseworker and sharing information
  • Obtaining and/or keeping income or apartment
  • Having a job or attending a job through welfare
  • Any special talents: singing, good language skills, good handwriting, typing
  • Involvement with religious institution or other organized group
  • Bilingualism
  • Family ties

Negative attributes that can be viewed as strengths:

  • Anger about foster care, being demanding about foster parent’s quality of care or caseworker’s work – shows that parent cares about child
  • Being “manipulative,” e.g., playing people off each other – shows intelligence, people skills, and goal-oriented behavior
  • Lack of openness, defensiveness, and stubbornness – shows good sense of self and boundaries, understandable, appropriate behavior/attitudes early in relationship with worker
  • Withdrawn, depressed behavior – appropriate response to removal of children, could indicate remorse, love for children

Source: Adopted from Practice tips developed with families in the Families Together Project at SCO Family of Services and Preparing Permanency Planning Foster Parents, A Foster Parent Training Manual, Linda Katz, M.S.W., Laurie Colacurcio, Kristina Corders, Lutheran Social Services of Washington and Idaho