Starting Anew

As a foster/adoptive parent advocate, I frequently get calls from families who are are going through a bad time when children who have been in care for several years move on. The loss is tremendous and we have all been there. As a foster parent myself, I know this can be the worst time for foster parents.

I like to think of it as a house that I’m building and when it’s done, a family moves in and I move on. It’s hard to think that they will care for that house as I did. I can never believe that they would know the work that went into it. Each block for the foundation was hand picked, hugged and held to perfection. The tears, the love, the joy, and also the fun I had with it. All the while I wanted to believe it would be forever, but instead the master builder had a different plan, and I was to move on to a new location and start construction anew.

Remembrance of the original house, and passing it so often, noticing that wind, storms and all of the rest of the elements have not damaged as it continues to stand solid. The shingles needed repair and it needed paint: windows needed replacing, but the original structure was still intact. I knew then that I did a very good job and that was what kept me going onto the next structure. I will never forget that house I built, but I do know that it will survive, and I’m so happy to be part of it.

I am truly moved by the foster parents who call me and tell me stories of the child that is leaving, and I always wish that I could make it easier. But there is no easy way. Always remember that you will always be in their heart and that you’ve made a difference in a child’s life.

Source: Jeanette, Lomando, Former President, Foster and Adoptive Parent Advosory Council, reprinted with permission of the author.

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