Step Four: Finding Your Community when Searching for Your Birth Family
An adoption search can take years and be long and frustrating or fast and furious or everywhere in between. No matter what steps one takes, anyone is bound to experience a wide range of conflicting and often quickly cycling emotions. Having an understanding circle of people who have also experienced similar feelings is often vital to support emotional health. When experiencing all these new feelings, knowing that others have walked the same path before and felt similar ways is both normalizing and validating. In addition, search support can also mean more hands helping and provide new avenues to explore while searching for your original family.
There are many more sources of information and adoption search support online, but the following groups, links, and sites are specific to New York adoption searches.
NYAdoptees Yahoo Group: One of the most active and longest running New York specific adoption search group is still run on a Yahoo group. You do have to create a yahoo account and join, but it is worth it. https://beta.groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nyadoptees/info
Live Adoption Search Support Group Meetings in New York
Adoption Group in the Village NYC:
- Contact Name: Susan McQuirk
- Contact Number: 646-303-8343
- Meeting Time: First Sunday, 2-4pm
- Locations: New York, NY
Manhattan Birth Parents Group
- Contact Name: Tony Dupree
- Contact Number: 212-544-7487
- Meeting Time: 3rd Thursday, 7:00-9:00 p.m.
- Locations: New York, NY
- Website: http://manhattanbirthparents.homestead.com/resources.html
Adoption Crossroads   Â
- Contact Name: Joe Soll
- Contact Number: 845-268-0283
- Meeting Time: 3rd Thursday, 7:00-9:00 p.m.
- Locations: Congers, NY
- Website:Â http://www.adoptionhealing.com/Â
A.C.E. (Adoptee Circle of Experience):Â not a search group, there will be resources available to help begin a search as well as support available from members of the group that have undergone a search themselves.
- Contact Name Adoption Star ( adoption agency)
- Contact email:Â ace@adoptionstar.com.
- Meeting Time: 3rd Thursday, 7:00-9:00 p.m.
- Locations: Amherst, NY
- Website:Â http://www.adoptionstar.com/the-agency/adoption-support/
New York Adoption Groups and Pages on Facebook
- NYAdoptees: This group is for Adoptees, Siblings; Birth Parents and grandparents and friends who are looking for a love one. https://www.facebook.com/groups/nyadoptees/
- New York Adoptees and Friends: forum for seeking ways to open New York adoption records for the benefit of adoptees. https://www.facebook.com/groups/8803927637/
- Adoptees born in N.Y: all adoptees born and adopted in New York City and State and families searching; adoption related topics or links to help related to adoptees, birthparents, siblings, searches, and reunions. https://www.facebook.com/groups/216630741776819/
- New York Adoptions 1960-1972: Uncovering the Secrets:  for anyone searching for someone that has been lost in adoption in the state of New York https://www.facebook.com/groups/348105358557921/
- Catholic Charities Adoptees & Birth families Searching:  All those who are/were affected by an adoption facilitated by Catholic Charities (nationwide), and searching for each other. https://www.facebook.com/groups/RelinquishedCCTriad/
- Louise Wise Adoptees and Birth Parents Searching:  Group to help narrow down adoptions through Louise Wise Services in NY. https://www.facebook.com/groups/417651071655927/
- New York Adoption Reunions:  Assisting to create Adoption Reunions for people born in or adopted from New York State, and for their parents, children, and siblings. They can help create an Social Media Adoption Search Advertisements https://www.facebook.com/groups/NewYorkAdoptionReunions/
- Hudson Valley Adoption Support Group: a peer to peer group support for adult adoptees, birth mothers & families seeking support, understanding, before during & after adoption searches & reunions. https://www.facebook.com/HudsonValleyAdoptionSupportÂ
- The Adoption Coalition Rochester NY:  free search assistance and reunion registry for adoptees, birth parents and siblings within the U.S. and Canada. https://www.facebook.com/adoptioncoalition/
Online Adoption Search and Reunion Support on Facebook
The following links are not New York Adoption Search specific, but do offer support and assistance.
- ADOPTION SEARCH Registry:  In this group the search angels are NOT paid nor do they solicit for your business. There are search angels here from the USA as well as other countries. https://www.facebook.com/groups/2306573942/
- ADOPTION SEARCH HELPS & TIPS:  If you have searched, you may have a technique that will help someone else. If you have searched, there may be information here that could help you with that search. This page is not for people who charge money to search, it’s for those wonderful search angels who donate their time and for those doing their own search. https://www.facebook.com/groups/searchsupport/
- Adoption Search & Reunion:  This is a group for all who are searching, or are in reunion. For those who wish to post a search ad, Please follow the description under the DISCUSSION BOARD about how and what to post – and what NOT to post, as you search for your lost family member(s.) https://www.facebook.com/groups/57164728955/
- Adoption Reunion: Reunion stories, adoption search and reunion tips https://www.facebook.com/AdoptionReunion
- Adoption Reunion Search and Support Group: This is a group for discussions on search and reunion. You are welcome to post the info you have for your search, there are search angels in this group and we are always happy to help. There are files and screen snips that show you how to find your birth family using DNA.  https://www.facebook.com/groups/351076468249270/
- Adoption Database:  Helping Reunite Families https://www.facebook.com/groups/117502901635730/
For even more pages and groups on Adoption Support on Facebook, please click here.
The Coalition is not a government agency, does not provide direct search services, and is unable to assist you with accessing information in closed adoption records. We ARE NOT SEARCHERS, however, we can point you in the right direction. Please see the Guide to Finding Your Birth Parents if Born and Adopted in New York State.
Some Quick Search Tips
- Make it easy to find yourself – list your phone number under your maiden name and/or birth name if you are an adoptee; list your phone as your name when you relinquished. Check and see if you show up with variation of your name when you Google it. Â
- Keep a log of everything you do for your search – jot down every insignificant detail – it may be a key that will open a door later on.
- Be kind to yourself and others – a smile gets more out of someone you want information from than a fist slammed on a desk.
- Take a rest but do not give up – you will find if your information is correct.
- Check the old phone books for your birth name in the year you were born and the year you were adopted. Do an address search (reverse phone book) to find out if she lived with someone. Yes, high school and college year books also help.Â
- If you are an older adoptee, the census is wonderful. Â If you are a younger adoptee the census is good, but you are looking for grandparents.