The following questions were generated during a youth and young adult panel discussion held at a 2006 Adoption Exchange Meeting in Batavia, NY and developed as a tool for workers to ask prospective parents and share with waiting teens.
- Can you afford to / will you send me to college?
- Can you show and have respect for a teenager? How will you show it?
- Can you meet a teen’s needs? How will you do it?
- What kind of child do you want? One that wants just a mother? Just a father? Other siblings? What kind of personality? Does it matter if the child is gay or lesbian?
- Are you part of a same sex couple? How will that affect your parenting?
- Are you married? Dating? Are you hoping to be? How will that affect the way you care for me? Are you committed to me?
- Will you still be my family even if something gets in the way? Like if the court holds things up? If I am not free for adoption? If I want to be connected to my birth family or other people? How will you show me that I am still part of your family?
- How do you discipline? What did you do when you were the maddest at a kid?
- How were you disciplined?
- How do show affection to a child or teenager? How do you accept and expect them to show affection?
- Please provide a letter of reference from a youth who has known you for a while (i.e. from a former foster child).
- Have you been a parent? For how long? For how many kids? Why did kids leave your care (if they did)?
- When there are problems between new kids and kids that are already in the family, how will you handle them?
- Will you bring foster kids on vacation with you? To holidays or special occasions?
- What do you think your first reaction to me will be? How will you try to make me feel comfortable? Part of the family? Accepted?
- What do you understand about normal adolescent sexuality? Are you comfortable talking about it or accepting it?
- How will my age and order in the family change things?
- If your child has a mental or physical disability will you still be there? If they are in residential placement? In hospital? In jail or juvenile custody?